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Tutor's Response --Hi, Kelly! First of all, let me begin by saying how much I enjoyed reading this. Overall, your writing style has a nice flow and rhythm to it. There are a couple of comments I have, though, that can strengthen the essay.
Your question targeting the thesis statement is a good one. Thesis statements can be tricky to write I find the best way to think of them is to keep in mind that a thesis statement is something you are going to "prove" is true throughout the essay.
Therefore, the thesis you choose needs to be one that you can demonstate is legitimate in writing terms, that you can "argue" is the case. You have a thesis statement, but it's not the last sentence.
Instead, your line "Maya Angelou's poignant anecdotes give the reader an inside look into her life as a child trying to overcome the barriers of her childhood displacement, racial discrimination, and sexual confusion" makes a better argument.
This sentence is a stronger thesis statement because it gives you three points to argue and the reader three points to look for: The organization of the essay is also suggested by this line because each issue should be treated in the same order as is written; in fact, that is exactly what you've done by beginning with childhood displacement in the next paragraph.
If you want to add a little more "poetry" to the sentence, borrow a few words from the last sentence of the paragraph and incorporate them into your thesis: Now, you're planning each paragraph to support the contention that Angelou's childhood experiences help mold her and you have the three points to follow to organize your writing.
A couple of other suggestions are: Okay, I hope that helps!Free example essay on Parents Influence on Children: For some evident reason my parents assumed they could have total control over my life just because they brought me into this world.
thesis or dissertation on Parents Influence on Children at our professional custom essay writing service which provides students with custom papers . Parenting also becomes much harder for these parents because their kids lose interest in pleasing them and become much more difficult to manage.
So strict parenting makes for unhappy parents. And children who are parented strictly end up fighting with parents and carrying a chip on their shoulder. The brain is molded by how parents treat their kids, and the parent’s style of “managing” their kids affects their academic achievement, self-confidence, aggression, psychological strength, and capacity to cope with real-life challenges.
Parents where indifference and encourage were shown now lament their child's outcome whilst strict discipline made the drugs much more attractive. I think spying is a harsh word but checking that our children take in what we teach them is our responsibility.
NFL running back Adrian Peterson’s recent arrest for allegedly abusing his four-year-old son has once again sparked the debate over whether spanking is an appropriate form of discipline. Instead, write the thesis statement and a couple of good sentences to lead in to your thesis in the opening paragraph.
7. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence which relates to the thesis.